Why I Won't Chant “F*** the Fascists” at Music Festivals(And a more effective way to change the world)

I’ve had the most wonderful summer of music: I’ve travelled the country to attend various gigs and music festivals. I had the privilege of attending the All Ireland Fleadh held this year in my home city of Belfast for the first time - something that would never have been possible when I was growing up in the thick of the Troubles.  

So many of the artists I had the pleasure to listen to touched me deeply with their music: I laughed, I danced and I cried. At times the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and I felt shivers down my spine. I feel immense gratitude for the musicians who showed up with authenticity, willing to share their vulnerabilities with the world. 

Many of these artists used their platforms to speak out against war and injustice happening in the world today. We absolutely need artists to give voice to those who have been silenced or ignored. We all need to speak up when we can.

In Belfast, the Fleadh showed me how music, dance, language and culture can bring people together. It proved we have far more in common than we have differences. I wept in the streets of Belfast witnessing my culture being openly and warmly expressed and welcomed in a city that has seen such conflict on its streets - it gave me renewed hope in humanity. 

Throughout the summer at the various festivals and gigs I attended there was one element that I couldn’t get on board with. I stood in the crowd as some artists lead the crowd in chants of  “F*** the Fascists”, “F*** Trump” and “Death to the IOF”

As a parent and an advocate for connection and compassion, these chants didn't sit well with me. 

The Illusion of Good vs. Evil in Modern Activism​

These chants reinforce a dangerous binary of good versus evil, us versus them, we are virtuous and right whilst they are wrong

While the anger behind the words is understandable given the atrocities happening in the world, reducing the complex issues down to these chants creates the very division, othering and dehumanisation that drives us further apart. 

Instead of shouting down the fascists or those we don't agree with, what if we tried to understand them first? What if, instead of writing them off as entirely evil, we chose curiosity over condemnation?

Why Seeking to Understand is Not Condoning

To be absolutely clear: understanding is not the same as excusing. Seeking to understand bigotry does not mean condoning violence or accepting hate speech. Rather, it means recognising that extremists are not a different species born entirely without humanity - as difficult as that is to acknowledge. They are people, moulded by fear, conditioning and isolation. Recognising this doesn't excuse them, it helps us understand how hate grows so we can effectively do something about it. 

I believe all humans are inherently good, and I also believe we all have the potential to do terrible things under the right circumstances. Moving away from the "I’m right, you’re wrong" belief system invites me to look inward. It requires me to take responsibility for my own prejudices, my judgements, and the moments I have acted outside my own integrity. ​

Conscious Parenting: A Better Way to Change the World

Watching the crowd chant along, I couldn’t help thinking to myself: What is this achieving? Is there a more effective way to bring about lasting change in our very dysfunctional world?

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by global problems and feel too powerless to fix them. But we can start small, right in our own little corner of the world. We can start by bringing the change we want to see in the world into our parenting.

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." — Arthur Ashe

As parents, we know that labelling a child as "bad" never fixes their behaviour. It completely misses the unmet need or the pain driving it. We find much more success when we get curious about why our child is hitting, screaming, or shutting down.

When we operate from the belief that children are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment, we naturally approach them with empathy. Often, simply helping a child feel seen, heard, and understood is enough to shift a difficult behavioural pattern. At the very least, it creates the calm required to find a solution.

This is how the cycle shifts. When we model curiosity and empathy instead of judgement and blame, it becomes our children's blueprint for navigating the outside world. They, too, will learn to seek understanding instead of jumping to judgement. By showing true respect to our children, we teach them how to respect those around them.

This isn’t about being the perfect parent. We can also model how to handle conflict maturely and how to repair a relationship when we mess up. These micro-interactions set a lifelong template for empathetic, caring relationships.

The ripple effect is huge. 

A Quiet Revolution in Connected Parenting​

With so much wrong in the world it encourages me to know that there is a quiet revolution happening in homes across the world right now. A growing number of parents are no longer willing to rely on the old tools of "power over" and control. Instead, they are learning how to parent with connection and collaboration.

This generation of children will go out into the world equipped with emotional intelligence, resilience, and a strong sense of justice and integrity.

Connected parenting means bringing these values into every single interaction we have, even the highly polarised ones. By walking our walk and refusing to dehumanise those we disagree with, we model true, active compassion.

Empathy vs. Passivity: Setting Firm Boundaries​

Our duty as parents is to practice radical honesty with ourselves and show profound empathy to others, while still holding rock-solid boundaries against harmful actions. We can validate someone's basic humanity while firmly rejecting their destructive behavior.

Admittedly, in the mundane, repetitive, everyday tasks of parenting, it can often feel like we are doing nothing at all. Comforting an upset child, managing tantrums, and repeating yourself for the hundredth time doesn't feel like activism. But in fact, every single time we choose respect over control, and kindness over harshness, we are doing something deeply profound.

It is all these small, invisible actions and daily choices that add up to something much bigger. That realisation gives me immense hope that we have the power to change the world for the better.

If we want to create a more peaceful world, we must stop trying to shout down our enemies. We must start doing the hard work of understanding them. That revolution begins at home, by ensuring our own children feel seen, heard, and valued.

If this article resonates with you, but your daily reality feels more like chaos and crowd control, I would love to help. If you are ready to do the inner healing work that brings presence, connection, and alignment to your parenting, I invite you to take the first step with me. Let's explore how Dr. Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry approach can support your family.

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