Pamela Quiery Parent Coach
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The Shouting Solution

How to stay calm in the chaos so you can parent peacefully

Are you ready to feel good about parenting and enjoy spending time with your kids?

You can become the calm, confident parent you always imagined you would be, and you absolutely can spend more time feeling grounded, patient and empathic towards your kids. 

And guess what? When you are feeling balanced, calm and grounded, your kids do too and cooperation will follow. 

The truth is you KNOW how to parent well. When you are feeling well rested and unstressed you have all the patience in the world, you think of creative and fun ways to get your kids to listen, you have a bottomless well of empathy and cuddles when your child is having a hard time. 

So how can you spend more time feeling patient and kind instead of spiralling into ultimatums and shouting?
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I have brought together all my knowledge and tools in over a decade of parenting and working with parents to create a system to lift you out of the daily shouting and frustration into feeling like one of those parents who has it all figured out. 
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Family and friends will look on in awe as you swoop in and diffuse conflict with ease. You are the voice of calm no matter how unreasonable your child becomes. 

No parent plans to lose their temper with their kids.

And when you do, I'm guessing you feel terrible - because you care deeply about your child and your relationship with them. 

➳ Maybe you started out patient and understanding but your child refuses to listen, you get stuck in the same standoff over and over again until you snap. There is only so much you can take. 

➳  Or your child seems to know exactly how to push your buttons. One minute you are calm and within seconds you have flipped your lid. 

➳  You are out of control and much to your horror you take it out on your child. 

➳  You find yourself doing or saying things you deeply regret later. 


➳  You sound exactly like your own parents did - this is never how you envisioned parenting to be. 

➳  So you promise yourself you won’t do it again, but the pattern keeps repeating. 
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What is going on?

➳ When you lose it, it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent or you lack self-control.

➳ It means your emotional system is on high alert. You are flooded with emotion so you can no longer access your logical thinking brain. 

➳ Reason and better judgement goes out the window, you can’t think, you lose your impulse control. You say or do things you wish you hadn’t.

➳ Your system becomes dysregulated.

➳ You lose connection to your self.
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What can you do about it?

This isn’t about being more disciplined with yourself. It isn’t about self-control or willpower.

I’m guessing you’ve tried that.

➳ What you need is to understand your nervous system and learn the skills to work with it in ways that will bring you back into balance in times of stress and conflict. 

➳ When you bring your nervous system back into your “zone of resilience” you feel calm again. You can think well.

➳ You can be empathic and patient towards your child - they are no longer a threat, they are no longer the enemy. 

In short, you can be the calm, loving parent you want to be. The patient parent who brings out the best in your child and can deal with conflict with ease and confidence. 

When it comes to giving up yelling, there are no shortcuts, no tricks, no simple parenting hacks.

If there were, I'd know about them.

​But here is what does work....



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Move beyond yelling with my R.E.T.U.R.N. Process
Six steps to restore calm and bring peace to your home

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Recognise

Recognise the early signals that your nervous system needs some love and attention. By getting to know your nervous system and understanding what it is trying to tell you when you get triggered you can begin to work with it instead of fighting against it.

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Emotional Emergency

It happens to us all, our kids drive us to the brink and push us over the edge. But you can learn how to return from the chaos and find your calm quickly and easily when you are in an emotional emergency.

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Taming Triggers

Only by understanding and healing your triggers can you get to the root cause of your emotional emergencies and prevent them from tipping you over the edge of the cliff time and time again. Once you start to heal your triggers, you increase your emotional resilience and your capacity to keep your cool in any situation.

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Unmet Needs

When you are exhausted, when you are stressed, when you are meeting everyone else’s needs before your own, it is impossible to stay calm or feel compassionate. When you pay attention to your own needs, everyone in your orbit reaps the benefits.

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Repair

No matter how much inner work you do or how much support you have, there will be times when you still lose it with your kids. But you can use these opportunities to model to your child how to be an imperfect human. The good news is, you can take responsibility and repair the relationship - a beautiful gift to your child.

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No Shame or Blame

We’ve all been in the spiral of guilt and self-criticism after we lose it with our kiddos. I know how horrible it feels and how it can leave you stuck in a cycle of self-destruction and pain - that doesn’t help anyone. The more you can cultivate self-love and compassion the quicker you can exit the shame and blame cycle and get back to loving your kids and enjoying parenting.

RETURN to your true self,
​RETURN to the parent you want to be 

Why the R.E.T.U.R.N. Process works...


Many courses on yelling focus on in the moment strategies to keep your cool - like taking a deep breath or getting some fresh air.

​In my experience, that isn’t enough to turn things around. You end up feeling like a failure because you weren’t able to cling on to the edge of the cliff any longer. 

My solution to yelling goes much further.

As well as in the moment strategies, we focus on increasing your emotional capacity and getting to the root cause of your triggers - so you don’t get to that point of no return as frequently. 


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Is This Class For Me?

If you’re anything like the countless parents I’ve talked to, you are NOT willing to continue the cycle of frustration and shouting at your kids.
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​Do any of these sound like you?


✔ Your child seems to know exactly how to push your buttons. One minute you are calm but within seconds you have flipped your lid no matter how hard you try to stay calm. 

✔ When you yell, it feels awful - because you care deeply about your child and your relationship with them. ​

✔ You have tried all the things: will power, pushing your anger down, taking deep breaths, punching a pillow and nothing works. You are still losing it with your child far too often. 

✔ You started out patient and understanding but your child refuses to listen, you get stuck in the same standoff over and over again until you snap. There is only so much you can take and shouting is the only way they'll listen. 

​✔ You sound exactly like your own parent did - this is never how you envisioned parenting to be. So you promise yourself you will do better, but the pattern keeps repeating. 


And if you’ve ever said to yourself, “I can’t keep parenting like this” you’re 100% RIGHT.

You can’t and you don’t have to.
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There is a better way, and I’m going to show you what it is.
BUY NOW FOR £97 OR 3 PAYMENTS OF £33
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Hi, I'm Pamela

Parent Coach & Mentor

When I started losing my temper with my daughter regularly, I felt so much shame - I was failing her, I was damaging her every time I flipped.

It seemed like everyone else had parenting figured out. Nobody talks about how often they lose it with their kids. It happens to us all but we don’t tend to post about it on social media. 

Of course I blamed myself. I had a newborn baby and a 4 year old. I was doing my best, but I was exhausted. My resources were spread too thin. But I found a way to turn things around.

Do I still lose it? Yes, sometimes.

But it happens rarely and usually when I’m stressed or worn out. 


If I do lose it, I know I need to pause and ask myself  - what is out of balance? I have the practices, the tools and the self-compassion to guide myself back and most importantly, I know how to repair our relationship when I do mess up. 

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How the Course Works 

You're in luck! This is the live launch of The Shouting Solution so as well as the amazing course content, you get live calls and guidance from me! Here's what you get: 
​✓ Six learning modules

✓ Livestreams & experiential group calls


✓ Emotional processing tools

✓ Nervous system regulation tools

✓ Facebook community

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Lifetime access to course materials
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BUY NOW FOR £97 OR 3 PAYMENTS OF £33

Client Testimonials

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"Pamela is an amazing and caring coach! She models giving the support needed to practice the tools."
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- Sarah, mum of two boys
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"I now have the tools to make the relationship with my children so much better and manage big emotions."
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- Aoife, mum of three
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"Incredibly helpful, made me look at things from a different perspective and try new tools I will always use in the future."
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- Paul, dad of a 4yo

Join The Shouting Solution Today

The full price for this 4 week online course is £197
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​Join at the special launch price of £97 AND it's a live round which means we have live calls so I can guide you through every step of the program. 
BUY NOW FOR £97 OR 3 PAYMENTS OF £33

Common Questions

IF I TAKE THIS COURSE WILL I NEVER SHOUT AT MY KIDS AGAIN?
I wish I could make that promise to you but I don't think that is a realistic goal - as much as I wish it was possible.

We are all human. We are all imperfect parents. There will always be times when you get frustrated and lose your temper with your child. That is part of being human. 

What this course will give you are the tools to drastically reduce how often you fall off the cliff and lose it with your kids. It will also help you to notice when you are yelling a lot and see that as a signal that you are out of balance and how you can find your way back again. 

It will also help you repair after you lose it and, so importantly, how to forgive yourself and love yourself even when you mess up. 

I have spent over a decade of parenting trying to reach the destination of 'never losing it again'. What I've learned is that it is unlikely we'll ever reach the end of the line. Parenting is a journey and we can keep learning and growing and maturing along the way - but there are no quick fixes or 5 minute parenting hacks to get you there quicker. The only way out is through. 

Oh, and as you are on the journey anyway, why not get the best support you can and find your tribe of like-minded parents to share the load with - you will find that inside The Shouting Solution. 


how long to i have access to the course materials
You will have lifetime access to the course materials. 

That means as long as I am working with parents and offering courses, you will continue to have access. 

If you are part of a live round, the Facebook group will stay open for the duration of the live round and up to one week after the live round finishes. 
is this course for all parents or for parents of children of a certain age?
Although I work mainly with parents of children under 8 years old, this course is not age specific as the principles apply to all parents no matter what age their children might be. 

However, the course is designed with parents of young children in mind. This is a super intense time of parenting when we rarely have time to ourselves and often our own needs come last. We focus on this in the course so it may not be as relevant to parents of teens or older. 

My Peaceful Parent School is my immersive group program to support parents of strong-willed children to create a peaceful home. It is for parents of children under 8 years of age and is a great next step if you love The Shouting Solution. 
how does the course work?
This is a self-guided online course designed to take approximately four weeks to complete. 

That means there is an online course platform where you will have access to all the course materials.

There are six modules and you are welcome to work through each module as fast or slow as you choose and in whatever order you choose - there is not right or wrong way. 

The modules have video and audio versions which you can watch/listen on your phone, tablet, laptop or computer. There is also a workbook and some written materials. 
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I have helped hundreds of parents. Over ten years of being a parent, studying, practicing and training and four years of working with parents, I finally learned why children don't listen and how to bring back calm and cooperation.

​The connection, joy and delight this has brought has changed my life and the lives of my children. I'm on a mission to help as many parents as I can. 
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Pamela Quiery Parent Coach
Providing local services in Belfast, Northern Ireland and online around the world.
☎ +44 7450203275
​hello@pamtheparentcoach.com
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