Pamela Quiery Parent Coach
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#048 Seven ways to keep your cool when your child is pushing your buttons

You can listen to this episode by clicking on the player below. You can also listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts or by clicking here.

​I would love if you could send this podcast to your friends, share it in any parenting Facebook groups you are part of and leave me a review - thank you for listening. 
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The biggest gift you can give your children when they are struggling with big emotions, when they are frustrated or upset, is to be the calm in their storm.

It is your parenting superpower.

When you can come to the situation with calm, you can be the confident leader your child needs in that moment. You can model emotional regulation and help your child co-regulate with your balanced system. 



If you join them in their upset, their frustration, their meltdown, their drama, then both your limbic systems go into fight, flight or freeze response. Neither of you can think well and nobody is going to be able to regulate their emotions very well. 

If you aren’t able to stay calm, that’s when you start to take things personally, when you start to view your child as the enemy, you lose your perspective, you get swept away by thoughts like - “They’re manipulating me, they’re doing this on purpose, they should know better, how dare they behave like this after all I’ve done for them”. 

It’s so hard not to get drawn in but that’s exactly what will be most helpful. 

You stay as a compassionate observer.

In this episode I talk about seven ways you can keep your cool when your child is struggling: 

  1. Change your perspective
  2. Adjust your expectations
  3. Welcome strong emotions
  4. Take a time out for you
  5. Take care of your own nervous system
  6. Notice when you are triggered and get the emotional support you need
  7. Get your own needs met as a parent


If you would like to learn more about how you can bring these ideas into your own parenting then you are so welcome to join my next free Masterclass which takes place on Tuesday 8th November 2022 at 8pm UK/Ireland time (12pm PST / 3pm PST).

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and consider leaving an iTunes review. It will help this conversation reach even more parents. 

I would love to stay in touch! You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @PamParentCoach and I always love to hear from my listeners.
Pamela Quiery Parent Coach
Providing local services in Belfast, Northern Ireland and online around the world.
☎ +44 7450203275
​[email protected]
  • Home
  • About
  • Parent Masterclass
  • Foundations Course for Parents
  • The Screen Time Solution
  • Podcast
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs