Pamela Quiery Parent Coach
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#049 Respecting children's fears and uncertainty at times like Halloween

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Today on the podcast I talk about respecting our children when they are hesitating or feeling uncertain about joining in at times like Halloween, but also other times like getting photos taken with Santa, joining in at birthday parties or participating in other activities you’ve signed them up for. 

Whatever the situation may be, it is really common for young children to be uncertain at these times, to hesitate and hang back in your safety.

For me it always seemed like everyone else’s children were so much more confident and well-adjusted compared to my daughter who would be hiding her head in my leg and clinging on to me for dear life.
I would watch the other kids happily running around, taking part, enjoying themselves and I wanted that for my daughter. 

I would have all these thoughts swirling around in my head - What is wrong with her? Why can’t she be more independent? I wish she was like the other kids.

But over time I became more adept at trusting my daughter and attuning to her and what she needed at those times.

Because when I thought about it, it was important to me to trust my daughter’s timing, to allow her to trust herself and what felt right for her so that as she grows up, she stays connected to what is right for her and what is out of her comfort zone - and she knows it is ok to trust and honour that. 

Parents have a fear that if they don’t push their children then they will get left behind and they have to foster independence in their children from an early age. But when we focus on creating a secure attachment, this sets the stage for confidence in later life. It also allows kids to stay connected to their yes and no, to trust themselves.

In this episode I also discuss when there is a time and a place to support our children to do things they think are beyond them and how we can encourage them out of their comfort zone in a supportive and sensitive way, making space for their fears and worries, so they can move past them. All in a child-centred way that attunes to your child’s needs rather than acting out of your own fears and insecurities. 

I share some practical responses you can use to reassure yourself and validate your child’s experience in these tricky moments when they are struggling to take part or feeling unsure of themselves. 


If you would like to learn more about how you can bring these ideas into your own parenting then you are so welcome to join my next free Masterclass which takes place on Tuesday 8th November 2022 at 8pm UK/Ireland time (12pm PST / 3pm PST).

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and consider leaving an iTunes review. It will help this conversation reach even more parents. 

I would love to stay in touch! You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @PamParentCoach and I always love to hear from my listeners. 
Pamela Quiery Parent Coach
Providing local services in Belfast, Northern Ireland and online around the world.
☎ +44 7450203275
​hello@pamtheparentcoach.com
  • Home
  • About
  • Parent Masterclass
  • Peaceful Parent School
  • The Screen Time Solution
  • Podcast
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Testimonials
  • FAQs